Friends gave me unrealistic expectations for friends
what, no one told you that life was gonna be this way?
“It’s been a long week,” I say in the middle of the day on Monday.
every achievement in cinema history has led up to this moment
#that time that michael jordan retired from basketball to play baseball #and then was bad at baseball so went back to basketball #and in order to celebrate his return to basketball #we made a movie in which he teams up with 50 year old cartoon characters #to defeat the space aliens who magically stole the mojo of other famous basketball players #and planned to kidnap these 50 year old cartoon characters #so the cartoon characters who literally never played basketball in any of their cartoons #were like clearly the only way to settle this is with a game of basketball #and just when all hope seems lost #bill murray who has literally only been in one other scene in the movie #shows up completely without explanation #and no one questions it #and doesn’t even do anything to help the team like he literally just shows up to pass the ball to michael #and then michael jordan slam dunks the ball from half court to win the game #and someone in hollywood read that script #and was like yes perfect no changes need to be made let’s get this project going #i don’t believe in god #but i do believe in space jam
Overheard in the comic book store:
- Kid 1: You’re such a dick, I heard you call yourself 'J-San', I mean, you’re not even fucking Japanese you fucking weeb.
- Kid 2: My name's Jason you twat.